Day 95

I sometimes think, albeit wrongly, the road traveled is ours alone. No one knows the trouble I / we've seen, and perhaps that is true, but we all have known trouble, for God said it would be so. From the days when Adam and Eve lived in the Garden and chose their own way over obedience to the Lord, trouble has been a constant.

This morning I reviewed previous posts ...

• Today Jim commented his right elbow hurt. It has hurt before, not constantly, but now and then. The last time he mentioned it that I noted it was a month ago on July 15. Before any of the surgeries he complained of it too and his primary physician called it tennis elbow.  Who knows why it hurts. When sleeping, he keeps his arm on a pillow and that helps.

• The dizziness continues. That has been a bother since May 22 -- 10 days after his cancer surgery. Getting up from bed, from the chair, from the floor or just turning around can bring on dizziness. He has mentioned it to countless medical personnel, and although it is listed as a side effect of taking Warfarin (Coumadin),  no one seems to think it is any big deal. NOTE: Jim acquired AFib as a result of the May 12 surgery; his heart did not return to normal sinus rhythm until June 11, the day of his bowel obstruction surgery.  

•  In conjunction with the dizziness is the abnormally low blood pressure. Jim has always had a low BP, and when we first married, both of us had the same systolic reading at 110 (I don't remember what the lower number was). For the last 15 years or more, his readings have been in the 90s/50s. However, since starting on the Coumadin, his BP has been much lower, with the lowest reading taken at 68/30.  Of course Coumadim can't be the culprit. It doesn't cause low blood pressure -- that's what we hear!
  
  Just because these side effects are not common does not mean they should be buried and not considered at all.
   
• The tiredness remains. He needs to be mindful that recovery will take months, not just days or weeks. Often he will discover what his mind wants to do, his body is just not able. He needs to sit and rest. He thinks because he can drive again, he can go anywhere and do anything, but that isn't quite true. It was a blessing when we learned Ormal, Pat and Mike Williams were driving to Anamosa Wednesday morning to attend Art Baker's funeral service and that there was room for Jim. If Jim had gone by himself, the exhaustion he felt would have been much worse. As it was he slept much of the afternoon.
  
  Along those lines, I do wish he would be more specific of how he is feeling ... instead of  "just tired." 

Tomorrow, Aug. 16, will be week 3 at First Federated Church in Lisbon. It is a conservative Bible-preaching church with a small congregation, mostly age 50 and older.  Jim's sermon the Lord has given him is "The Blood of Jesus" from I Peter 1:17-25. Please pray for strength of body and voice.

Slow going - Day 56

Jim IS getting stronger, but he struggles.  He feels he is always tired and sometimes when he is very tired, he gets frustrated and confused.  But don't we all?   He wants to do things, and we are doing things.  But then he doesn't understand why he is so tired.  He is tired of being tired.

Our second adopted grandson, James David Cook, was born Monday afternoon, July 6, at UIHC.  We were there with our family.  Jim loved being there, holding his new grandson, his namesake, when he was only 2 hours old.  A special feeling he has for this little boy, just like the special bond he and firstborn grandson, Austin Lee, share.  He is glad, we are glad God brought us all together. 

I am tired of not knowing what is going on with Jim.  He fails to share or when he finally does, I am nearing frustration myself.  I have told him we need to trust the Lord. Look to Him and not ourselves. When we only look at ourselves, we become discouraged and depressed, and we don't need to go there.  I know the Lord will take care of us;  He showed us so much during all that time Jim was in the hospital.  He will continue to show us, if we're paying attention to Him and following His instructions. 

We need to stop feeling sorry for where we are not and go with whatever God gives us.  God gives us every ounce of strength we need to face whatever comes.  We must rely on Him alone.

Isaiah 41:10 -- "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

I Chronicles 16:11 -- "Seek the LORD and His strength; see His presence continually!" 

Isaiah 40:28-31 -- "Have you not known? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." 

PHOTOS FROM JULY 6, 2015

Papa Jim and Grandma Cathy

with second adopted grandson, James.

Papa Jim and James

Our adopted grandsons, Austin and James

Today in the mail we received a check from Wellmark Blue Cross Blue Shield for use of the ambulance Jim required June 7.  The check was for $689, which we delivered to Area Ambulance Service.  We now owe them $413.  We plan to appeal the claim from Wellmark. 

Another thing that only adds to our frustration is the bill we received for the emergency room service at UnityPoint - St. Luke's on June 7. The bill went to Medicare instead of Blue Cross because UnityPoint - St. Luke's does not pay attention to what we have repeatedly told them. 

At supper tonight I asked Jim where his pain is that makes it necessary for him to take the pain medication. I said we had some narcotic meds that are not as strong as the hydromorphone, and he was all for taking them. The pain is primarily in his back. He said it burns. Sometimes his incisions hurt. He mostly lies on his back when sleeping. He tries to lie on his side, but then his incisions hurt, so he returns to his back. I don't know what causes the burning. 

Your continued prayers are appreciated.