Jim had a better night of sleeping. Another x-ray of his stomach was taken and sometime during the night he finished the container of nutrition, nicknamed "chocolate milk." He is now on 60 milliliters per hour - that is where it will stay until he discontinues it.
He is constantly complaining of being tired. Even though everyone says how good his color is, he frequently asks why he doesn't feel as good as he looks. One of the surgeons who assisted with a lung transplant yesterday stopped in to see Jim this morning and told him his procedure is right up there with open-heart surgery. So he's tired because of the type of surgery and also because of the pain medication - type and frequency.
Bandy Andy Bear (the bunny) is eating. He hasn't been eating for a couple of weeks because of concern for his daddy.
Jim just called (again) at 10:15 a.m. He said the pain meds coming via IV have been discontinued and he was given an injection through his feeding tube (J-tube). This is how he will receive his pain medication going forward and I will be instructed on how to do this for him.
I brought the over-the-bed table up from the basement. Jim wanted me to find the bed wedge he thought we still had, but I haven't been successful so far. May need to buy a new one, an inexpensive new one, unless someone has one they are not using that we can borrow.
Blake from UnityPoint Home Medical arrived at 11 a.m. He brought 8-plus cases of Osmolite 1.2 high-protein nutrition, an IV-pole, a travel pack for church and other nearby outings, plastic bags for the nutrition and for water to flush, plus the pump. And of course lots of paperwork to sign. I sure hope Blue Cross picks up the tab, since the total comes in at $1406 -- $630 alone just for the nutrition every month.
It was 2 p.m. before I arrived at UIHC. Very quiet on the floor. I learned how to inject the pain medicine into his J-tube. Jim and I did it in tandem - he operated the on-off valve and I did the flushing and medicine delivery. The nurse said Jim could even do it himself if necessary. That's useful information for when I have an appointment.
Jim walked twice today, further distances, and walked me to the elevator when I left for the day. We look for ways to bring some normalcy to our time together.
Today was a frustrating day for me. I didn't sleep well and woke up with a painful left ankle, hip and wrist. I misplaced my wrist brace.
I wrote a poem (see below) that I didn't do well at living up to. I wasn't focusing on the Lord, but on every little thing that only added bumps to my road. It was not a smooth day.
Here's the poem:
Whatever the plan
realize
it never permanent
only possibly
happening
a tentative plan
We do not know
what God has
in mind
for our day
Stay where you are
concentrate
the task at hand
to do
before other things
you think need
to be done
You have much
on your mind
focus on My Presence
let all else
fade away
Pray
Rest
Anticipate
Trust
Step by step
moment by moment
He will guide
our movement
He is our Lord and Savior
Be one
with God
not separated
alone to self
but together
with God alone.
(c) May 16, 2015
I am unsure of my capabilities, unsure how much I can handle, unsure how I can balance work and caring for Jim, unsure I will do it well or even good enough.
