Other things - Day 187

There really isn't anything healthwise to report re: Jim - he is better, the heart monitor will be returned by week's end, the only time he is short of breath is when he has over-exerted himself.
But there are other things, so I thought I'd share them.

We determined we were going to have our annual Christmas Open House this year no matter what. It is set now ... we have most invitations sent out and are working on decorating in and out. It is coming along much better in than out, because the weather is not very cooperative. We do have our outdoor nativity up, however.

We enjoy ministering to the people of Wilton Baptist. The 60.1-mile trip to and from seems to take less time the longer we serve there. We don't know how long we will remain there. Earlier this year after Jim had had his surgery, we talked about being willing to go wherever the Lord sent us. He sent us to United Federated in Lisbon for three weeks in August and then returned us to Wilton Baptist, where we have been since Aug. 30.

The church is searching for a fulltime bi-vocational pastor. Jim was called to be its interim pastor Sept. 27. For the past 3 to 4 weeks, we have considered applying for the open position.

It wasn't until today, Jim felt a tugging from the Lord.  Of the several devotionals he reads, it was from Oswald Chambers'  "My Utmost for His Highest" that he thought God had given him an answer.
I have included it here in its entirety:

"By Myself have I sworn, with the Lord, for because thou has done this thing ... that in blessing I will bless thee..." Genesis 22:15-19

Abraham had reached the place where he is in touch with the very nature of God, he understands now the Reality of God. 

"My goal is God Himself ...
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road." 

"At any cost, by any road" means nothing self-chosen in the way God brings us to the goal.

There is no possibility of questioning when God speaks if He speaks to His own nature in me; prompt obedience is the only result. When Jesus says - "Come," I simply come; when He says - "Let go," I let go; when He says-"Trust in God in this matter," I do trust. The whole working out is the evidence that the nature of God is in me.

God's revelation of Himself to me is determined by my character, not by God's character.

"'Tis because I am mean,
Thy ways so oft look mean to me."

By the discipline of obedience I get to the place where Abraham was and I see Who God is. I never have a real God until I have come face to face with Him in Jesus Christ, then I know that "in all the world, my God, there is none but Thee, there is not but Thee."

The promises of God are of no value to us until by obedience we understand the nature of God. We read some things in the Bible three hundred and sixty-five times and they mean nothing to us, then all of a sudden we see what God means, because in some particular we have obeyed God, and instantly His nature is opened up. "All the promises of God in Him are yea, and in Him Amen." The "yea" must be born of obedience; when by the obedience of our lives we say "Amen" to a promise, then that promise is ours.

 We spent the afternoon in Wilton. Today we learned the pastor search committee has invited a man to come in view of a call. He will be preaching Dec. 6. Today Jim shared he was interested in the position.

So it is up to God, as it always is. His will be done.

We covet your prayers for His will, not anyone's wishes, but simply His will.

Questions - Day 153

We have more questions than answers re:  Jim's health care after three hospital stays and two surgeries.

Jim was released from UIHC at 4:45 p.m. Monday, Oct. 5, after a five-day stay for internal bleeding / bleeding ulcer.

In my readings,  I have found an ulcer is a hole generally in the stomach or small intestine, but can be anywhere in the gastrointestinal tract.  Jim's ulcer formed at the juncture of the esophagus (1-2 inches) and stomach, where he had his esohagectomy May 12.

His thoracic surgeon, Dr. Parekh, says the tissue is still new and fresh and not healed,  leaving it more susceptible to problems. His primary care physician, Dr. Butler, whom Jim saw Oct. 8,  says it's been 5 months ... it should be healed!

In our visit with Dr. Butler, he made these comments:
**Coumadin does not cause dizziness
**Coumadin does not cause bleeding. It can cause you to bleed more, but not to start
**You can have reflux from stomach back up even if you do not have heartburn, therefore, you should be on pantoprazole.
**An acid blocker could heal the ulcer
**Some other medicine Jim is on causes the dizziness, such as Flomax or Benedryl.

Our unanswered questions:
**Why did Jimmy have dizziness when on Coumadin (June - September), but since being off of it (Oct. 1), there is none?
**Why is dizziness listed as a side effect of taking coumadin if that is not so?
**Why has it been said coumadin can cause low blood pressure which can result in dizziness?
**Why hasn't the tissue area healed where the esophagus and stomach were sutured?
**Why is he on Pepcid, an acid blocker?
**Why is there no clear cut direction from more than one doctor re: pantoprazole?
**How do you know the ulcer is a result of acid ... is it not possible it is because of bacteria?
**What would an endoscopial ultrasound show? He had one in March before the cancer surgery.  He has had two endoscopies since Oct. 1. He is supposed to have an CATscan - is it not possible this would show ulcers or healing process?
**How do you determine normal readings for hemoglobin?  We've been told 10 is normal for Jim, yet before the May 12 surgery it was 13.5. After 2 pints of blood were given between Oct. 1-5, it remained stable at 8.8. The lowest reading was 6.8. Dr. Butler says 8.8 is still low, 10 is low.

On Oct. 8 visit with Butler, Jim's BP was 90/42, which is normal for him. Weight with clothes on was 133 pounds. No scale is the same.

The next appointment coming up is Oct. 23 when Jim sees a cardiologist for a second opinion at UIHC.


My writings:

Questions
So many
agreement
between
doctors
missing
Answers
not found
We listen
We read
Nothing consistent
What one says
is fact
another says
is not
Who are we
to believe?

Our minds
in a
quandry
confusion
and frustration
take hold
We are obsessed
with knowing
what is
true and correct

I remember
The Lord
said
He would be with us
He would bring us through it
He would guide us
not just part of the way
but every step
That means
even through
the complications
and in retrospect,
not just through Jim's cancer
and the various side effects
but even my own
health issues

No more
We have too much
Take it away
Take it away Lord
Yet God says
in His word
He will not give us more than we can handle
What does He know
What does He see

He is wirh us
He guides us
If we are close
closer to Him
We will hear
in the stillness
His Holy Spirit

The answers
we seek
we find
in the solace
of our Lord Jesus

He hears our prayers
He knows our concerns
He answers
but are we listening
did we hear His response
or are we unsure

Doctors do not agree
have not agreed
say this and that
and another

Jim has been off
the coumadin
12 days
There is no dizziness

Is this God's answer?