a new adventure ... NOT

A new year ... a clean slate ...

Jim's 68th birthday was Jan. 3. Had supper (and a game of Scrabble) the night before with our family and lunch the day of with longtime friends.

And then came Thursday, Jan. 5. Bedtime to be exact.

A scratch on his lower right leg. Nothing abnormal about that ... he's had scratches before. And this was not an open sore. It was healing. But Thursday night the leg was very red, puffy and hot to the touch. At first we put Melaleuca oil on it, but by Friday night, determined that because the oil was so concentrated, it could cause less good and more trouble, so we stopped that treatment.

On Friday, Jan. 6, Jim said he didn't sleep very well. The leg was painful. It hurt to walk on it, especially when getting up from a sitting or laying position. I didn't sleep well, so was aware when his breathing became labored.

Before I continue, I want to share the Scriptures I read that morning. It was a promise God gave to us, that as long as our focus stayed on Him, things would be fine. We were not to worry, not to fret, not to fear. Just trust Him.

From Isaiah 43: 2-3: "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not flow over you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, Your Savior."

Originally Jim was going to a walk-in clinic alone, but I decided to work from home, so we both went to the clinic (Hiawatha Urgent Care). We arrived at 9:50 a.m. -  there were 7 people ahead of us - it was going to be at least an hour before he could be seen. He mentioned Dr. Butler's name, and lo and behold, there was a cancellation at 10. The Lord orchestrated that just brilliantly.

The usual readings were taken - weight and blood pressure.  The BP was not good. It was taken three times - 70/42, 68/42 and 72/50 - all abnormally low. Butler was concerned that the consistent low readings could lead to kidney problems, as in shutting down. Dosage for the midodrine, taken to increase his numbers (which he hates to take, primarily, I think, because of the cost - $100  a month, with insurance), was returned to 3 pills 3 times a day. It seemed he was doing fine with 2 pills 3 times a day, but this new turn of events makes one wonder.

He was prescribed an antibiotic - 2 meds in one - called Amoxicillin / Clavulanic Acid 875-125 mg. Looks like horse pills and he takes one twice a day with food and plenty of water.

Dr. Butler told him that if he became light-headed, felt like he could pass out or had a fever, he should go immediately to the ER. He was to come back in 5 days for a follow-up - that would be Wednesday, Jan. 11.

We got home shortly before 11:30 a.m. Friday. He slept, I worked. He started taking 1 Ibuprofen for pain as needed.

When we had meals, he discovered the antibiotic makes some foods have no flavor. He especially noticed this with hamburgers and waffles / syrup. He could taste the sherbet, the pizza and the beef tips. It's a good thing not every food had lack of flavor, or he wouldn't be eating anything and he certainly doesn't need to stop eating.

On Saturday, Jan. 7, I also worked from home all day. Jim's breathing was not labored through the night, and although his leg still was painful, he was able to rest. Just before bedtime seems to be when we notice changes - Saturday night the redness started spreading to the other side of the leg and it was still swollen. But fortunately, there were no signs of being light-headed, passing out or fever - Thank you Lord.

Sunday, Jan. 8, we returned to Lincoln Street Baptist Church in Mount Pleasant, where we are providing interim pastoral care while the congregation's current interim pastor is out due to health conditions and they are deciding what to do in the future. We thought if need be, we would share driving duties going down, in case Jim's strength wasn't at its best. But he did fine. He didn't notice the pain in his leg, probably because he was preaching.  He slept on the way home and most of the afternoon.

I posted on Facebook and the Immanuel email requesting prayer. There were some who suggested we go to the ER, especially since the redness was spreading. We were in a quandary. God told us not to fret, not to worry, not to fear. And all three of those were spouting their ugly heads.

Sunday night, the redness spread to his ankle. He started putting his legs up to reduce the puffiness.

Monday morning, Jan. 9, we called Dr. Butler's office and a return call got us an appointment for 4:30 this afternoon.

His blood pressure is up - 80/44. He was put on a different antibiotic - Levofloxacin 500 mg (Levaquin) and is to take 1 tablet once a day, at a different time than his vitamins. He'll start it at supper tonight. Dr. Butler remains concerned, but not sure a visit to the Emergency Room is warranted. Jim is to return to his office at 4:30 p.m. Tuesday to see how he is doing with the new antibiotic.

We appreciate your continual prayers for healing as we strive to stay close to the Lord and proceed as best we can.

Other things - Day 187

There really isn't anything healthwise to report re: Jim - he is better, the heart monitor will be returned by week's end, the only time he is short of breath is when he has over-exerted himself.
But there are other things, so I thought I'd share them.

We determined we were going to have our annual Christmas Open House this year no matter what. It is set now ... we have most invitations sent out and are working on decorating in and out. It is coming along much better in than out, because the weather is not very cooperative. We do have our outdoor nativity up, however.

We enjoy ministering to the people of Wilton Baptist. The 60.1-mile trip to and from seems to take less time the longer we serve there. We don't know how long we will remain there. Earlier this year after Jim had had his surgery, we talked about being willing to go wherever the Lord sent us. He sent us to United Federated in Lisbon for three weeks in August and then returned us to Wilton Baptist, where we have been since Aug. 30.

The church is searching for a fulltime bi-vocational pastor. Jim was called to be its interim pastor Sept. 27. For the past 3 to 4 weeks, we have considered applying for the open position.

It wasn't until today, Jim felt a tugging from the Lord.  Of the several devotionals he reads, it was from Oswald Chambers'  "My Utmost for His Highest" that he thought God had given him an answer.
I have included it here in its entirety:

"By Myself have I sworn, with the Lord, for because thou has done this thing ... that in blessing I will bless thee..." Genesis 22:15-19

Abraham had reached the place where he is in touch with the very nature of God, he understands now the Reality of God. 

"My goal is God Himself ...
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road." 

"At any cost, by any road" means nothing self-chosen in the way God brings us to the goal.

There is no possibility of questioning when God speaks if He speaks to His own nature in me; prompt obedience is the only result. When Jesus says - "Come," I simply come; when He says - "Let go," I let go; when He says-"Trust in God in this matter," I do trust. The whole working out is the evidence that the nature of God is in me.

God's revelation of Himself to me is determined by my character, not by God's character.

"'Tis because I am mean,
Thy ways so oft look mean to me."

By the discipline of obedience I get to the place where Abraham was and I see Who God is. I never have a real God until I have come face to face with Him in Jesus Christ, then I know that "in all the world, my God, there is none but Thee, there is not but Thee."

The promises of God are of no value to us until by obedience we understand the nature of God. We read some things in the Bible three hundred and sixty-five times and they mean nothing to us, then all of a sudden we see what God means, because in some particular we have obeyed God, and instantly His nature is opened up. "All the promises of God in Him are yea, and in Him Amen." The "yea" must be born of obedience; when by the obedience of our lives we say "Amen" to a promise, then that promise is ours.

 We spent the afternoon in Wilton. Today we learned the pastor search committee has invited a man to come in view of a call. He will be preaching Dec. 6. Today Jim shared he was interested in the position.

So it is up to God, as it always is. His will be done.

We covet your prayers for His will, not anyone's wishes, but simply His will.

Onward we go - Day 130

As Jim gets better (still has occasional dizziness and gaining weight is a very slow process), I have gone the opposite direction, trying to get out from under so much that is keeping me feeling rather poorly.

We enjoy the time God has allowed us to be at Wilton Baptist Church. We don't know how long that will continue, being the congregation does have need of full-time pastoral leadership.  During September Jim has preached there the 6th and will again the 20th. He is hopeful for following weeks as well as he already has sermon ideas. We plan to visit some of the folks in the hospital or recuperating at home in coming weeks.

In thinking of all the places where we have served and of all the events of this past year, I jotted down this prayer request -- "To be sent wherever God leads. To be used wherever needed. To recognize needs. To be open to staying places and filling roles for however long the Lord desires. To have those who desire our aid to be open, not hiding, not pretending, not being false or fake."

Jim was rather listless over Labor Day weekend. He has watched the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Telethon for years - last year it was on TV only 3 hours and this year, not at all.  He didn't quite know what to do with himself. On Monday, Sept. 7, he remembered a DVD he put together last year from episodes that were on youtube.com and watched it.

AWANA at Immanuel began Wednesday, Sept. 2 - we started coming Sept. 9, bringing grandson Austin to participate in Cubbies, the preschool class, to learn about Jesus. I go in to work earlier and get off by 5:30 so we can all get to church on time and have supper too.

We took our second mini-trip to Northeast Missouri (LaGrange and Hannibal) Sept. 12-14, and it was enjoyable as always. We stopped at HLG and visited with Jim's friend, Ray Carty, who is vice president of something (LOL). He gave us a personal tour of the new science building that opened the end of August. We bought gas in Hannibal for $1.99, a huge decrease from the $2.29 we paid in Cedar Rapids before heading south.

On Tuesday, Sept. 15, Jim got a flu shot at HyVee Drug Town, and it apparently made him very tired, as he slept much of the afternoon, and we both went to bed early that night.

On Thursday, Sept. 17, Jim and I and Christina and our grandsons, Austin and James, went to Waterloo to attend the Cattle Congress fair. We weren't sure how the day was going to end up, being it was raining in Waterloo in the morning, then raining here and still raining when we headed north at noon. Fortunately, the rains stopped and the skies remained dry, although a little cloudy, the rest of the day and into early evening. We saw lots and did lots of things, everybody (except James) got in lots of walking ... and Jim has more stamina ... and I think Austin had fun. I'll include some photos at the end of this post.

Today is Saturday, Sept. 19. A nice sunny day, a bit on the cool side, but considerably better than Friday's downpour. This morning Jim and Rocky worked for an hour or two on cleaning the garage -it's a vast improvement.  Jim printed off his sermon - 11 pages - guess God gave him much to talk about!  His message for Sunday is "Be All You Can Be" and Scripture is I Peter 1:10-16.

 Upcoming appointments: 

• Friday, Oct. 23 - 3 p.m., Jim meets with Dr. Bailin, a cardiologist at UIHC, for a second opinion re: use of coumadin for surgery-related afib.

• Tuesday, Oct. 27 - 10:30 a.m., Jim has colonoscopy with Dr. Gerke at UIHC

• Friday, Oct. 30 - 9:30 a.m., Cathy meets with Dr. Gerke re: digestive issues begun Aug. 5

Photos taken at Cattle Congress in Waterloo: 

Improvements continue - Day 115

How the days fly by ... 115 days now since Jim's cancer surgery.  He is getting stronger and he does not have as many dizzy spells.  Perhaps the Coumadin is more agreeable to his system  -  he has been taking it for nearly 4 months.  But of course he still has the lower than normal blood pressure.  We have not yet heard  from UIHC re: seeing a cardiologist there for a second opinion.

Tuesday, Sept. 1, was a tiring day  -  probably all those pain pills he took following oral surgery  -  so he slept, and when he wasn't sleeping,  he worked on his sermon.

Wednesday, Sept. 2, was the first night for Awana at church and they were offering a group for grandson Austin's age group  -  Cubbies.  We were hoping to take him, however, a few things prevented that ....

One, my sister, Helen's mother-in-law, Lorraine Snell, passed away on Sunday, and we decided to go to the visitation Wednesday after I got off work.

Two,  I had a sore on my right hip area that opened during the day.  So after visitation, we went to Urgent Care in Marion.  The doctor diagnosed it as a yeast infection, possibly a result of the antibiotics I have been on since Aug. 27 (for digestive issues) and the heat.  I have a cream to use twice a day.  After the first day, I noticed improvement.  But just because it is better doesn't mean I'm to stop taking it.  (On a side note, re: the digestive concerns, my primary doctor is working on getting me an appointment with Dr. Gerke,  the gastroenterologist at UIHC.)

Jim was really feeling better on Wednesday  -  he made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and veggies and homemade rolls (partially using the bread machine) for supper that night.

Jim will be preaching this Sunday at Wilton Baptist.  He has prepared a Labor Day message, "Laborers for Christ,"  taken from Ecclesiastes 5:18-20  and I Corinthians 3:8-10.  Communion will follow.

We are planning a 3-day trip to Northeast Missouri Sept. 12-14,  but  it may have to be postponed. We'll find out on Thursday, Sept. 10.  A co-worker's mother-in-law is having a procedure done in Indiana that day to shock her heart back into rhythm.  She has a heart condition and also cancer, and the cardiologist apparently won't allow the surgeon to operate until her heart is stable.

Prayers for that situation and for Jim and of course, probably me too, are very much appreciated.

Updates: Days 96 - 109

Sunday, Aug. 16, was Day 96.  Jim preached at First Federated Church in Lisbon for the third week in a row. Then we were told someone else would be coming Aug. 23 and it was unknown about Aug. 30. When we received a call from the church in July and again after the first service on Aug. 2 when we met with the pulpit committee, we were only told to let them know if we could not come.

Don't know what that is/was all about, but of course God does. Have to let Him control the reins and lead us in the way He would have us go.

So we called Ron at Wilton Baptist. Jim has preached there before, off and on, since last fall, and had called Ron in July letting him know he would be available to preach by August. Ron had called earlier in August asking, but by then, we were committed to First Federated. So we called him back, since we had August dates open. We were invited to come Aug. 30.

Thursday, Aug. 20, was Day 100.   Today was a day of rest. Jim went to the pet store and got dizzy just getting out of the car. He spent most of the afternoon sleeping.

Wednesday, Aug. 26, was Day 106.  Jim worked in earnest on his sermon for this coming Sunday. His message will be "Are you a FAT Christian?" FAT stands for Faithful, Available and Teachable. Scripture is from Hebrews 10:19-39.

Thursday, Aug. 27, was Day 107.  Jim had an early morning appointment with his cardiologist, Dr. Li, at PCI. His blood pressure was 80/46 and his weight, 132.3 pounds. His weight seems to fluctuate within a pound every time he sees any doctor. Who knows what his real weight is. Also had an EKG. He told Dr. Li he wanted to get off Warfarin/Coumadin. Her recommended alternatives to being off the blood thinner was to monitor blood pressure and pulse rate daily.

Side effects Jim has from taking the Warfarin/Coumadin are dizziness and lower blood pressure. Dr. Li said it is rare for Coumadin to lower BP. She suggested drinking more water (60 ounces verses the 24 ounces he currently drinks - and that is more than he has ever drank!) or gatorade and increasing salt intake would help to raise his BP.  She said the dizziness could possibly be prevented if he moved his legs up and down before walking.

We both believe the Coumadin is the primary cause of these problems. He didn't have dizziness before taking it and his blood pressure was usually in the 90s to 100s, never as low as 80 or less.

Dr. Li said we could get a second opinion. Jim told her no, it wasn't necessary, but when we talked later, he said he was going to looking into it down at UIHC in Iowa City. We are currently waiting for a return call on a referral.

Thursday evening, after I got off work, we had dinner with a friend, Joan. Jim took care of her husband, Bill, more than 8 years ago when he worked for St. Luke's Home Care / Hospice. It was a very enjoyable evening.

Saturday, Aug. 29, was Day 109.  This morning when Jim woke up he complained of a sore throat. His voice has been deeper in the last couple days and apparently his throat was somewhat sore during the week, but this morning it was more bothersome. At first we thought he had developed a cold. But then I remembered his allergies were not just seasonal, but also mold and mildew (which is present indoors and outdoors) and we have been around mold much of this week.

Since he had to go to MedLabs to have blood drawn  (he has to stop Coumadin today because he's having oral surgery on Monday), I suggested he also stop at Urgent Care in Hiawatha. The result of that visit indicated he didn't have a cold or strep throat, but allergies. Allergies that cause sore throats, as mold and mildew can. So he has two meds - Flonase nasal spray and a mouthwash that he says tastes awful. Worse than the hot tea (Throat Coat) with slippery elm, licorice, etc., with a teaspoon of honey in it that I gave him this morning. He says the Flonase appears to be helping.

Our prayers are for answers to the Coumadin issue, getting that second opinion, getting necessary rest, gaining weight and more strength in body and voice.

New dilemmas - Day 65

I made two calls this morning - one to Jim's primary care physician, Dr. Butler, and another to the Center for Digestive Diseases at UIHC.  It was too bad the nurse from UIHC didn't call first, because now I've had to call Dr. Butler's office a second time.

Jim is scheduled to have a colonoscopy next Tuesday, July 21, per orders from Dr. Parekh, his thoracic surgeon.  We didn't have prep instructions, thus requiring a call.

We have plans to attend the Cedar Falls Bible Conference July 26-31 (reservations were made and paid earlier this year), but now I question the reality of those plans.

So the nurse from the Center for Digestive Diseases called back late morning.

This colonoscopy is not your typical procedure, with prep being done the day before.

Prep begins:

•  today - no corn, popcorn, iron or multivitamin. No Problem!
• Friday (4 days before procedure) - he is to stop taking Coumadin - unless of course the doctor managing this med thinks otherwise.  Hence, my second call to Dr. Butler's office to find out if indeed he is to stop 4 days ahead, when he is to restart, and what to do about the INR  re-check currently scheduled for July 24. 
• Sunday, July 19 - after supper, he takes the bottle of clear magnesium citrate.  Nothing red.  No jello.  Begins clear liquids and continues on that through Monday.
• Monday, July 20 - between 3 and 4 p.m., drink the jug of lovely tasting stuff (not!) - Nothing after midnight

And then we received a call before 1 p.m. from PCI Cardiology - Dr. Li's office,with results of the stress test Jim took on Monday and Tuesday of this week.  The nurse said it was abnormal.  She didn't say what specifically was abnormal, only that it was.  She asked if Jim had had any chest pain and he said no.  A cardiac catherization aka angiogram is to be scheduled, and she hoped to have called us back today with a date and time, but that didn't happen.

If there is blockage, a stent will be put in.  The nurse said if there is no blockage,  the procedure would last 30 minutes;  otherwise, it could take up to 1 1/2 hours.  He would need to be at the hospital two hours before.

Then I called the nurse coordinator for Dr. Parekh at UIHC because we thought it a good idea if he received the stress test result report and any other information.  I wondered if the surgery could have caused this problem.  We haven't received a call back from her either.

So I stayed home and worked, waiting for return phone calls.  Tomorrow morning we will have to get up earlier and make phone calls earlier as well.

Jim and I went grocery shopping after supper and we were talking about things Dr. Parekh said during our 4-week clinic visit with him July 1.  When we got home, I started looking through previous notes.  At that clinic visit Jim had an EKG and results showed normal sinus rhythm but abnormal left anterior fascicular block.  Nobody seemed to know what the latter meant, but results were to be sent to Dr. Li,  Jim's cardiologist.

So I did a google search on Left Anterior Fascicular Block.  I found the following of interest:

• It is a medical name indicative of scarring or other blockage that causes portions of the heart's left ventricle to shrink or constrict. 
• Lifestyle choices and genetics may have much to do with why the blockage happens
• Chest pain is not always present
• Dizziness can be a symptom of a defect in cardiac function.  Unconsciousness may occur.
• Stay away from refined carbohydrates

Dizziness ... has been bothering Jim since taking Coumadin, which can lower blood pressure,  and Jim's BP is definitely dropping. 

Refined carbs ... we have one doctor who tells him to eat whatever you want, need to add fat.  And we have another doctor who tells him to avoid foods high in carbs and starch. 

I talked to Jim's sister, Dianne, the RN.  She suggested we call Dr. Gerke's office in the morning and reschedule the colonoscopy. Take care of the heart first. Also to call the cardiologist and find out exactly what was abnormal about the stress test. 

I know the Lord is in control.
I know He will take care of us.
He is taking us down paths for His purpose.
He will bring us through it.
We must stay strong in Him,
because without Him, we are so weak.
Sometimes our weakness overwhelms us
We seek His guidance.
We seek the prayers of His followers across the seas.
We seek a place of quiet refuge
to be comforted by the One
who knows us so well.
(c) Cathy Orrick Luders   

Moving On - Day 61

It has been 5 days since I last posted anything here.  I didn't have much to report about Jim and I was wary of saying much about me.

Thursday, July 9, was D-Day .... Disaster Day I believe would be an appropriate title.

We had to get up early for an 8 a.m. urology appointment Jim had at PCI Urology. The appointment was two-fold -- one, to discuss issues he had with not being able to produce No. 1 or No. 2 (problems began late June 27 and rectified themselves to normal June 30), and two, a follow-up visit following his recent surgeries.

The visit did not go well. At least not from my standpoint. The problems began with a 45-minute wait before we saw the doctor, who didn't think an explanation was warranted. It continued when the nurse assumed Jim was a new patient, when he has been a patient of Hoxie's for several years. When the nurse asked for a current list of meds, which Jim provided, I said this list was very current. So she made a copy and then proceeded to ask if he was taking a baby aspirin ... are you taking a multi-vitamin -- meds that were not on the list. I repeated twice, "the list you have is current."

To her I was being rude. To me she was not listening very well. So when we left I apologized for stating facts. There are obviously some doctors and nurses who believe they can do or say no wrong.

By the time we left the doctor's office and the building, it was after 9, and I wasn't doing very well. Didn't feel well, was frustrated over the top. I called it a melt-down, maybe it was something else. Jim just held me.

 I was going to post on here, but I thought who would want to know what's going on with me. I was going to post on Facebook and decided not to. I told Jim no. I don't know what to say. If he wanted to do anything, it was up to him.

He did do something. He sent a prayer request to Immanuel folk just for me. I didn't know if anyone saw it because I didn't see it. But by sometime Friday, I was feeling better. I decided even if no one saw the email, God heard it, and He was answering my need. I could feel calmness settle over me.

This is Jimmy's request:
Please lift Cathy up to our Lord in prayer. She will be returning to the Gazette building to work this afternoon. Cathy has been taking care of me and my needs since my first surgery on May 12. So much has been on her, at times it seems to be overwhelming. I myself love her and fully realize all she has been through. We are reminded of God's love for us, and She needs an extra dose of His love and the power of His grace to be heaped upon her.
I appreciate the prayers that have been said for me. But please pray for Cathy.

That afternoon was my first back at the downtown office. I have been working from home since mid-May. I couldn't find a  place to park nearby with a 10-hour meter, so ended up walking four blocks after finding a 4-hour meter. I was exhausted. My ankles hurt because of arthritis, my balance poor because of painful bursitis. I considered turning around and going back home to work.

I got through the day. When I left, I found 10-hour meters so I wouldn't have this same problem on Friday. I was glad to be home.

Friday was a better day. Jim had blood drawn in the morning.  On the way home I stopped at CVS to pick up prescriptions and other meds that cost a small fortune. At the house, the Cooks were here, we were having spaghetti, Rocky was mowing the yard, we took pictures, and in the mail was a card from Ron and Carla Dunnahoo / Wilton Baptist Church. The card was perfect. A picture of Jesus with children .. the verse said -

"One of the greatest privileges of knowing

 Jesus is going to Him in prayer.

There's never a question about 

whether or not He's listening -- He always is.

There's never a question about 

whether or not He has our best at heart -- 

He always does."

Thank you so very much for sending this card to us at this time.

Today is Sunday. A fellow Christian brother was gone because his own brother had passed away, so Jim stepped up to the plate -- from 8:30 a.m. for choir practice/sound check to 9:30 Sunday school, filling in as substitute teacher, to 10:45 worship in the sound booth. He even warmed up Sunday dinner (made meatloaf, mashed potatoes and green beans on Saturday). He was tired and fell asleep this afternoon while I worked, but he is getting better.

Tomorrow we have a busy day. Three appointments, including the first part of a stress test from 11:30  a.m. to 1:30 p.m. The second part of the stress test will be on Tuesday. 

Indigestion - Day 47

Today at 4 a.m. I woke suddenly, then fell back asleep. Jim also woke up, went potty and came back to bed. Then he got up again (something I didn't realize) and moved to the recliner, where he managed to fall asleep. When I got up at 6:30, I discovered all this and that he took a pain pill for back pain and indigestion.

I told him he needed to tell me when things were not right, rather than just think he could deal with it himself.  We can pray together.

He had several BMs yesterday and one was loose, so decided last night not to take any Senna.

I called his sister, Dianne, the nurse. She said he needed to take 1 Senna nightly and that a call should be made to UIHC on-call. After all he has had 2 surgeries. Jim didn't want to call. He didn't want to return to the hospital. But he finally agreed to let me call.

In talking with the thoracic fellow on-call, we have come to find out that foods with red sauces, like pizza or pasta with tomato sauce or red wines (that's not a problem with us, considering we don't drink alcohol) can cause more indigestion.

He asked if Jim was taking omeprazole. Well, he was taking pantoprazole before surgery, but was taken off it and had not resumed it. The doctor said he should be on it, as it helps with acid.  He was taking 40 mg twice daily, 30 minutes before breakfast and supper meals.

So, we found a bottle and he has taken a pill before breakfast. It's 7:30 now, and he has had another BM, which is good. He feels a little bit better.

Yesterday, he was hoping to make it to Sunday School today, but now that today is here, that appears very unlikely. His goal is church.

He has been resting since 8. It is now nearly 10. We will leave soon.

I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU UNTIL ... 
Yesterday's devotional writings were a result of readings in Psalm 143:8 and Genesis 28:15.

Psalm 143:8 says ...
"Cause me to hear Your lovingkindness in the morning
For in You do I trust;
Cause me to know the way in which I should walk,
For I lift up my soul to You." 

Genesis 28:15 says ...
"Behold, I AM with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to the land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you." 

This last part particularly caught my attention - "I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you."

I thought on it yesterday periodically and again last night when we watched the Christian movie, "End of the Harvest."  God said this to Jacob in a dream. This is a promise made. ...

Is this also a promise to those of us who follow His Son in the current age? What do you think it means? Does it have to do with callings received from the Lord ... like being called to write a book,
to be a teacher, to preach His word ... in season, out of season, when it is convenient, when it is not. Or is it something else?

Today's devotional read was a reminder from Isaiah 55:8 -- "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the Lord." 

and my writings ...

Do not doubt
Do not give in
to "me" thoughts and "me" ways
Do not give up
being aware of Me

Along every road block
I AM with you
whatever this life throws at you
I AM your protector
your refuge
your confidante

See Me
in the midst
of your pain-full days
and pain-free days
I will bring you
through it all

My Ways, My Thoughts
Do not doubt

Live and Love
and Proclaim My Truths
I WILL guide you.
(c) CMOL

GOD'S SIGN
I return to Saturday's devotional reading and read it again.

Rest in the Lord for a while
for you have journeyed along a path
steep and rugged
in days not long ago.

The days ahead,
the way,
is covered with uncertainty.

Wow, it dawned on me -
God was giving me a sign
we, Jim and I
we were to rest in Him
and not get caught up
in all that which draws us down
and away from Him.

The indigestion -
all the discomfort it brings -
and whatever else in its wake
is the uncertainty.
Trust Jesus in every step
He will lead us
through the valley
up and down the hills.
Pick us up Lord
Pick us up and carry us.
Give us strength
through every life moment.
Come to his aid Lord.
In your name I pray.
(c) CMOL

FIFTH SUNDAY FELLOWSHIP 
Through the Lord's intervention, I managed to get done with work shortly after 4:30 p.m., so Jim and I could go with friends Bob and Lorraine to the Fifth Sunday Fellowship at First Baptist Church, Dunkerton. We hadn't been up there since mid-February. The program started at 5 and we arrived at 5:30 p.m. Many FBC members we'd hoped to see were absent, but it was good to visit with those present.

Tummy ache problems erupted again for Jim and he wanted me to call UIHC on-call around 10. The doctor said he needed to give the pantoprazole time to work - a few days.

Jim also is having urinary problems again - not voiding very much and not getting intended results when self-cathing. The UIHC doctor said to drink water more frequently throughout the day.

And, when getting ready for bed, taking out his hearing aids and contacts, he had problems again with the left contact being up high behind his eye. This problem arose the last day he was in the hospital - June 17 - and was corrected with a visit to the eye clinic. This time, he went to sleep with the problem, hoping to get it corrected in the morning.

Today is the day

"This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it." ~ Psalm 118:24

That was my first thought shortly after getting out of bed at 4:07 this morning and my devotional reading led me to Exodus 33:14, which said "... 'My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.' "

It was a long walk along the skywalk from Ramp 3 to Elevator H and 6th floor (especially for friend Jani Ford and I, as Jim had wheel chair privileges), but we  checked in at the surgery waiting room area on the 6th floor at UIHC right on the dot at 6 a.m. Within minutes, we were transported to a room on 5th floor, where Jim was readied for surgery.

Pastor Dan came by at 6:45 -- we were surprised to see him on his day off. He read from Psalm 121 and prayed with us. It was much appreciated that he took the time to come. Jim's sister, Dianne Weldon, arrived at 7:30.

Jim had his hair clipped from chest to groin. No more fur.

At 7:15 a.m. I learned Jim had failed to communicate some aspects of the surgery with me. First it was going to be minimal-invasive, then traditional, .... he couldn't seem to make up his mind. And then last week he changed it back to minimal-invasive. I was ready to shoot him.

So, instead of a 4-hour procedure, it would be up to 7 hours, possibly longer. He was in the operating room from 8:15 a.m. to 2:44 p.m. We talked with Dr. Parekh at 2:15 - he said everything went well, no complications. For the next 10-15 days, the risk of infection where the stomach and 1-2 centimeters of esophagus connect is high. Don't want any redness or drainage.

The thoracic epidural that had been suggested for pain control didn't happen because of neurofibromatosis (bumps on his body) and the brain tumor surgery he had in 2006. He receives pain medication through an IV and can push a button every 10 minutes.

And then because of his hiatal hernia, he had to numb the throat area himself with a lollipop swab (disgusting stuff) - I think the anesthesia team called it awake fiber optic. It was supposed to help him not aspirate.

He was in the recovery room from 2:44 to 5:15 p.m., and then taken to 4th floor, right around the corner from Eleavor D. His room number is 59. He can have visitors. Dr. Parekh said depending upon how things go, he could come home on day 4 or 5.

It is now 9:30 p.m. Jim just called me on his cell phone. His nurse already has him sitting up on the side of the bed. Tomorrow he will be up walking. He can talk, but his voice is hoarse. He didn't talk much above a whisper several hours ago. He wants to get better soon, so we all have to be positive.

And now for a little trivia we learned from other "waiting" people ... there are 2,400 bathrooms through the hospital.

We thank you for your prayers along the way and continuing in the long days ahead.

Pressing on, Looking ahead

Lord, I pray
Keep the steps
taken steady and sure
so we don't falter
along the path
Keep my focus
our focus, our thoughts
on you
away from the situation
around us
gathering momentum

It is not about me
It is about You
and in the midst
my beloved one
whom You also love
He is Yours
I am Yours
You are with us

Yet our minds
travel down paths
bringing one question and another
so many unknowns

Thinking -- the questions weaken us
Willing our minds to You
brings strength
In You we can do all things

Everything that needs done now
and in days, weeks following
surgery and after
Jim's return home,
will be accomplished
according to Your will, Your plan, Your purpose

Help me Lord, to know
Help us both Lord, to know
what is unnecessary
Keep us away from getting flustered

Keep us mindful of You
See Your beauty
See the good
See the steps of progress being made

Help us Lord to look toward You
in all we do
To not get agitated with each other
To not dwell on the pain
and how far we have to go

One step at a time
One step in front of the other
Looking ahead to the prize

"I press on ... forgetting those things which are behind
and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.
I press toward the goal for the prize
of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:12-14

Remove my fear

In the midst of all we undergo - every sorrow, every sadness, every trial, we can remain faithful. We can continue to seek the goodness of Christ, seek His strength in us, although we struggle to see or feel that strength. We feel so weak and downhearted.

We should not allow our burdens to gain such a stronghold that it overshadows our Lord. HE is stronger, mightier. Nothing we undergo will the presence of the Lord leave us. We must cling to His Promises, His Truth, to His outstretched hand.

We must not withdraw. In withdrawing from Him, we have said No to life and Yes to death. Jesus is my joy, yet why do I feel so joyless.

The thief - Satan
he robs and steals and destroys. I do not belong to Satan. I am not one with him.

JESUS is THE SONG of me
He is my life
my joy
my love

Even if it seems absent, He is not absent. He remains with me. I must be obedient. I must wait. I must believe in the Lord. I must follow Him.  I must rise up to whatever occasion He brings me to and remind myself He will also bring me through it. 

The Lord will provide.
His strength in me
His strength through prayer warriors
His strength through the surgeon, nurses, technicians
His strength is enough
His Presence is enough

My Jimmy, to lie waiting
Your strength and power to gain
momentum upon him
that day coming
remove the disease
that wreaks havoc
bring him to full restoration

and me, Lord
I wait, am waiting,
will wait still
that day coming
remove the fear
that wreaks havoc
on my soul
bring me to full restoration

Allow us Lord more years to come
Together to serve You
and be messengers of You and Your guiding Light.

For in You is our Faith, our Strength, our Everything.

Amen.

Restore my peace

Moment by moment
choices we make
that which we know to do
we sometimes choose
that which we do not desire
we sometimes travel
the fork in the road
always before us

Is it a never-ending cycle

It is what you make it

Keep your focus on Jesus
or be swallowed up
by your own selfish self
traveling down avenues and back alleys
of what if, what then, how, why

Wherever I travel
wherever I am
The Lord - He is with me
to reach out
and know He is near
His Presence
is what I need
day or night
in good times and bad
in sad times and glad

The choice
not always so easy
Help me! I cry
Get me out of this pit
This downward spiral
caught off guard
catch me Lord
calm my fears
clear free my mindless thoughts
of all I do not want to be
nor want to go

Return me to you
where I was
not that many days ago
Cradle me
in Your loving embrace
Remove the fear before me
Cleanse me from every unrighteous
thought  that hinders my relationship
with You

It is You, only You Lord
that brings rest, peace, quietness, stillness
within me.
Only You.
Restore me Lord
into Your Presence.

You Lord
overcame death
Satan thought his grip on you
more powerful
so wrong, so wrong
all he has had and ever will have
are minute, tiny particles
of sand
sifting, shifting
to steal
and kill
and destroy.
You Lord
are higher,
stronger
The Utmost
forever and ever.

Remove my sadness
Take away the pain
of the valley I flounder in
Return me to you Lord
Restore my peace
I want to feel Your abiding Presence
within me
all of my days
every day.

In Jesus' name,
I pray.

~~~~~~
Sweet Holy Spirit
Sweet Heavenly Dove
I remembered the song from old
but not a good rendition
to find on Youtube
Another ... Holy Spirit Come Fill This Place
sung by Cece Winans
I share with you.

Prayers

Tonight on the way home from work, a line from a nursery rhyme and another from a children's prayer came to me. I decided to look them up on the internet. The nursery rhyme goes like this --

Star light, star bright
The first star I see tonight;
I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish I wish tonight.

I decided to rewrite it, and in doing so, it became a prayer.

Lord of Light, Lord so bright
Your Love within me every night
I pray for comfort, I pray for peace
I pray for him, I pray he'll be all right,
And have this prayer fulfilled I pray tonight.


 The children's bedtime prayer dates back to the 1700s. Jim and I remember saying it in the 1950s when we were kids. The prayer is just as meaningful today as it was then, actually more so. Both of us gave our lives to Jesus, accepting Him as our personal Lord and Savior, many years ago.  Pray you have too.

"Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
If I should live another day
I pray the Lord to guide my way.
Amen.